When expectations become ownership, all relationships fall apart

Let me explain.

Most relationships start with an implicit agreement: I will do this for you, and you will do this for me. It’s an unspoken contract, a balance of effort, care, and respect. But somewhere along the way, expectations creep in.

That’s normal. What’s dangerous is when those expectations turn into a sense of ownership.

Ownership is different from expectation. Expectation is hope - it allows for flexibility. Ownership is entitlement - it demands compliance. The moment you feel someone owes you something in a relationship, the relationship starts to break.

It happens everywhere. In friendships, one person starts thinking, They should always make time for me. In business, a co-founder starts believing, I built this, so I should always be in control. In marriage, a partner assumes, They must behave exactly as I expect.

But the irony is that the more you try to own a person, the less they want to stay. People resist control instinctively. The more you tighten your grip, the more they pull away.

The strongest relationships are built on voluntary effort. The best way to keep someone close is to give them the freedom to leave. The moment you feel you own them, you’ve already lost them.